i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
