We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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