he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
