One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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