where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
