i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You were trust falling into bushes
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize