please come you make the beer taste better
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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