Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
