i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
