Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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