So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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