So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
