i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
True strength comes from lack of pants
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize