Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
