Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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