You just made me feel so damn special
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
