I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
