Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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