So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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