im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
