Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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