WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
