For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
