Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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