I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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