worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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