I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
