why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
