So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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