I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
