yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
