we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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