I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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