wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it's like heaven, but drunker
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
