found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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