is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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