ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
