Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He passed out mid-signature
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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