Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
