Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
