I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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