went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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