the day after is always just damage control
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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