Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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