yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm eating all of the evidence.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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