"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
