Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
