I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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