Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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