bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
