Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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