so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize