He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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