not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
