Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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