Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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