She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize