Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
