If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
