i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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