That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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