There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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