..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
