how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
