how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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